Do I actually know if he's really corny? No.
Do I actually know if he's the most loving? No.
In fact, I don't know him at all.
I just came from a listening session for my friend Rugdha(Eastern Foreigner). Her project was dope and the event went beautifully. I even ran into a bunch of artist and folks I knew and reconnect with a few others as well. It finishes and I get super munchies. I walked from The Cribington, as they call it for Museache and Blxdy Rxse(if I'm spelling it correctly) to Journal Square. I was going to do 7-11 but I knew I was super dank with smoke and police was there, then something told to avoid all chance of a probable cause search. I leave and go into the Duane Reed to get chips, cupcake, a $5 share size of peanut m&ms and a liter Fiji water. I fuck up everything and leave the m&ms and water for last.
I hold the candy until I get to the EZ-Ride free overnight bus. As I'm approaching, an older gentleman kinda burst out the door and he's going into the same bus as I to East Orange. He looked like he dressed up for a special occasion. Clean straw hat, creased khaki cargo shorts, a darker green button up with a vintage style to it, matching sneakers and wristbands of cool beads. It was about 80 degrees today, so the night was about 69. The gentleman was kind of loud. One of those guys that broadcast everything he does and all thoughts are vented. He was kind of all over the place with everything. Definitely the type of old person to touch a stranger even in a brief conversation. I start eating my candy and I'm getting towards the end, when he asked me if he can have two m&ms. I got a bit offended because I would never ask a stranger for their food ever. I saw it as rude and imposing. I gave him the whole bag because it was rude, I knew the food wasn't best me, I wouldn't have wanted it back and I felt like I predicted he would do something like that, by his antics.
After that I gave him the cold shoulder, as he started to talk to me, clearly very very talkative as well. I actually ice grill him and stare purposely away from him. He tried to talk but the principal pissed me off. I sensed some guilt from his words and I let him know it was rude...not sure if he really understood that though. He got quiet and very quiet. BUT I FELT FUCKING TERRIBLE!!! Yes, he was rude despite his age. Yes, he was very imposing in others personal space. Yes, he was loudest person but it all felt like it came from a heart of gold. The other passengers were clearly over him and wanted him out but I let out a deep sigh because I needed a little relief as I wasn't sure if he was a little slow, simply rude and never understood personal discretion his whole, I wasn't sure about any of his flaws. I just knew that all of his antics weren't just that of a rude man but of someone who was free and caring but almost obliviously overbearing to a lot of his actions.
He starts talking to me again, I guess because he HAD TO say something. A deep sigh was probably all he needed to restart any conversation. He starts talking about the m&ms, I let him know it was rude of him but he kept thanking me. Was this man very talkative? Almost annoyingly but his emotions were felt. There might've been some guilt, some obliviousness, some "old school" interactions amongst strangers(as he called it). At some point, I just let him talk his talkative ass off. Something told me, let him enjoy this moment. He told me he was 70. Kept talking in circles repeating the same lines. Maybe while he was out, he had a couple. A couple might've been enough to get him wasted at his age. Whatever the reason, I just let him have his moment. It was like he meant no harm. I might've been the only one to read that from him, everyone else probably wanted him to shut up.
He kept saying how he appreciated the candy, how he doesn't judge anyone and only want to spread love. He, himself said that he was humble....lol. Regardless it was his moment. I felt this awkward kinship with him in the moment. I didn't really say anything to him. I just let him talk his talkative self. It brought a smile to my face. Maybe he's been misunderstood his whole Life? All I knew is if I'd let him talk, nothing bad was going to happen. He was basically repeating himself about love, caring, no prejudgment, thanking me repeatedly for the candy, how "I'm the man", how he can read the good in me, blah blah blah. I didn't care, I just let him talk. Let this old timer have his moment.
I might've added to everyone else's annoyance because I was the second person to be dropped off, almost rushed too. I'm never usually one of the first to get let off. Probably because I cursed out the bus driver more than a few times for his super negative ways. If that was the case, cool because fuck him lol. I'll annoy him and curse him out anyday because he actually is super rude. That actually made the situation lighter for me. Also, I one of the drivers got in a fight with a passenger a week prior, so he might've been walking on eggshells. It might've been him or not but I always sensed self-righteous bitchassness off him and he surely as hell started acting like he knew how to talk to people.
As I wrote that, I realized I paralleled two different rude people. One with pure intentions and misunderstood. The other who had too much to prove with his Life.
Regardless, it felt good to hear the older gentleman talk and vent out. I don't know truly why or the source of all of his antics but I enjoyed it with him. I didn't have to continue talking to him but he came off fine by me, despite being loud and rude. I got off the bus with a smile. Someone who meant no harm but just wanted to be himself. Despite his flaws, he left a loving impression on me. Maybe a little "too cool" and corny for himself but he was cool enough for me to have that moment.
If I got anything from that, it was the purity of emotions and intent. If he was rude and selfish, this might've been a different conversation. Instead he came off rude, loud, too talkative, loving and caring, so I didn't mind. He called his antics "old school", which might've been the case but I just saw him for what he was: a very nice, misunderstood, unabashed, 70 year old man. He was cool. A very nice elderly man.
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