I'm transitioning. I'm moving on to a different plateau. A different location. A different destination. A different affirmation.
I wanted what I had and I was grateful for it. What sucks is I always got to wait until everything blows up. I can't just move on. I wait and see it all until the very end. Sometimes, I can give more than what's asked for. Right now? Fuck it. I'm not overextending myself.
I haven't wrote in this in awhile. I haven't wrote for creativity in a busy minute. I mostly come here to vent. I've been stressing for a long time. Sometimes, I just want it to end. Other times, I'm cool with taking my time.
Everybody has a solution. I don't like talking about anything internally until I'm ready to blow up. Everybody has a solution. I can't just vent. Most people are having a hard time with their own Life. Fuck can you tell about me? I usually have my ducks in a row. So when I vent, that's it. I just need an ear. Not a solution.
Everybody wants to be a hero.
It's sickening. Everybody wants to be a hero, not realizing if you're needed as a constant hero SOMETHING ISN'T RIGHT AROUND YOU. You should want to be in a world where there are no heros. No need to save the day when the day is fine. Instead, people selfishly act as if it's their duty to overbear you to "help you" when help was never needed. I just needed to vent.
You can get in someone's way even if you meant the best. It's rude either way. To tinker on someone's Life is a violation. Being viewed as weak in the process. I could never be vulnerable. When I would, it was sent back with "You need to do this..." When I force my way, it's normal. It's like these people were more responsive to aggression than my heart.
If I'm yelling at you you get it. When I'm deep with you you only dip your toe in. Society in general responds better by fear and intimidation. I have done nothing and gotten reactions out of people. I refuse to give into that type of thinking. I'm going to continue to be my naturally strong demeanor while being openly generous with depth. The fact that you and everyone else respects pain and freight, says way more on you all than me. I've been giving my vulnerability away for free for a very very long time. I guess, you'll see it when there's a price tag to it.
