I woke up today feeling dead. Everything was worthless, there was no hope, no justice, no peace, Love was still there but for what? Doubt and negativity was surrounding me. I wanted to call out from work but I called out last week. I didn't even do my exercise for the day, because I felt soo lost.
It was almost like I was feeling the pressures of my worldly duties and the pressures of myself simply trying to better myself come crashing on my shoulders. I didn't know what to feel. I tried to uplift myself. It gave me a boost (as selfish this is going to sound), it wasn't the boost that I was looking for.
I had to keep going with my day. It wasn't going to make moves for me so I did what I had to do. I moved forward.
It was rough, but it’s days like this that test you. Not sure if I passed with flying colors but I made it through. I definitely did what I needed to do. Had some negative thoughts but I saw past them. It brought me down but I got right back up.
You know what really lifted me up? My music. I was listening to Illmatic for the day but then I had to play some of the music for the project I'm working on. It gave me a sense of hope. It made me proud of myself again. I created this, I put this together. I had some help but came about because of me.
The closest comparison I can use to describe the growth of your music is a child. You watch a infant being born, it learns to walk and talk, years go by it is using complete sentences, soon playing the park, then school and before you know it's grown and out the house. That's kinda how the relationship between the music and the artist is. It starts with some drums, a sample, a guitar riff or even something as simple as a thought. You grow from there, you add one thing then the next, it starts to take shape, you might take away some parts and build from there, let it rest for a bit, you can do a million things in a million ways but what you create is what you created.
It's a beautiful process, something I take pride in me doing. I know I might not be the typical artist or the typical producer or even the typical guitarist but I'm making what I do work for me. If that isn't enough... Fuck it.
Anyway it's a new day today. Each day is different than the last.
Things I Must Remind Myself
•Life is not a race, move at your own pace
•Each day is different than the last
•Tomorrow is always a brand new day
•Make each day work best for you
•Make the best out of each situation you're in
•Enjoy the present as this moment will not be here the next day, or the next hour or the next minute.
•Enjoy exactly what you have. What we have is the present and things change everyday. Enjoy what Life has given you and know what you are giving it.
•Appreciate Life, thank Life and Love Life. Life is what makes you *drumroll* Alive
Just a few reminders for myself. Life isn’t perfect but Life is worth it. You can make a million today and lose it all tomorrow. Take every moment with a sense of pride within yourself. Humble yourself to see that Life always has more to offer. The moment you're in is for yourself, take pride knowing this is what you started, this is what you're making. I am Living a beautiful Life and I thank whoever and whatever that has helped me throughout the way. I am blessed to have soo many people blessing me throughout the way. Nothing more I need to say.
PEACE
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