The more things change... The more they stay the same...

I found Peace...  I found inner Love...  I grasped my worth...  But now I feel like I'm even more lost...  I'm still fighting to gain a hold of my sanity...

If I actually told people what was going on in my mind, they would either:

A.) Think I'm a lunatic

B.) Think I have gone insane(probably have though)

Or

C.) Become enlightened and amazed

The thoughts that are going on in my head are crazy...  They're beautiful, magnificent but they are also kinda terrifying...  I'm learning to control them, but it's kicking my ass...  Maybe I just need a doobie to smoke and that'll help me out...

Love is the most powerful force...  Always remember that.

This Love that I found within myself, that realligned with myself with(that I might've been blinded of somewhere in my youth) has made me attack a lot that has been going on in my head, that has been disturbing my spirit.

Fighting my demons might why I'm feeling this way...  Because since I found my Peace, found my Love, found my God, that's all I've been doing...  Fighting my demons.

Since my experience, I've been continously trying to better myself in every way.  Soo much, that I never gave myself a break...  At all.  Yeah, it's been about 9months since but all I have been doing was fighting myself again.  Almost fighting myself of my demons, of my past, of my downfalls and mistakes...  The only difference is I'm more aware of the pain than I was before my enlightenment.

Before I would fight myself because I couldn't let go of myself...  Now that I have let go, that's all I have been doing is letting go...

I keep letting go and letting go, soo much, I might have become more scarred than I was before.  Everyday is a new day with new beginnings but what have I actually learned from yesterday?

I'm trying to find a balance, trying to a key to my life.  I guess this truly is the beginning of my journey.  I knew it would be rough starting but SHEESH!!!!  I let go of the weight of the world off my shoulders and I put the weight of the universe on me instead.

Please help me...  God...  The Universe...  Somebody...  Something...  Help me...  Let Peace and Love be with me...
Heal me...