Yo!

Hey.  It's been awhile, I know lol.  Just another journal log that felt right.  I can't really fully describe what's going on with and around me at the moment.  I'll try:
-album is being mastered
-my anger spits out in darker ways that I immediately have to knock, harder than before.  Mostly alone, I never want to and hate having to react on it
-intimacy and love?  I'm still looking but I'm entertaining
-work sucks but whatever
-SEX!!!!!!  Would be nice
-CONSISTENT SEX!!!!!  Would be better
-CONSISTENT INTIMATE SEX!!!!!!  Would mean I'm finding someone
I think I'm looking for love more nowadays.  I hope where I'm finding some ain't a dark place but I feel it that way.  When someone can't be with you....fuck it, I put the burden on myself already.  I just know to step away at some point.

My emotions have been mixed.  I still find the light and perservere through the day but I'm at that point where I'm asking myself, "Am I struggling?"  To perservere is one thing but to struggle is another.  My mind was clouded for the past few months.  I cut back on weed to clear it.  I took a "Life break" in a sense where I didn't workout, didn't take food notes, surface cleaned the apt, a few other things for a couple of weeks.  I wanted a self-vacation.  A vacation from myself and some disciplines to unwind and not lose myself.  I even took a fun trip to California with Chris and Gene and I got what I wanted.  Longer time would have been dope but it is what it is.

I still feel a lot of pressure right now.  My side of the job may fold at some point but there's a light.  My album is being mastered and the back and forth with the engineer.  I want to perform more, eat more and struggle less.  I don't even know if I'm struggling because I always find perserverance and focus on that inspiration.  Shout out to always pushing my willpower...and Hatebreed all those years ago🤘🏾 forever thankful for Jamey Jasta and Reggie for putting me on.

I'm writing this because I felt the need to have something new posted on here.  I thought I would vent, instead kind of an update.  I'm good, PEACE!